Some Questions I Hope You Don't Ask... And a Couple I Hope You Will!

An odd blog post title, I'll admit, but one that has been on my heart for a while. I pray I can express some of my very human anxieties about conversations when I return and humbly invite you in to walk alongside.

Please avoid: Are you so happy to finally be back home?

Short answer: Well, when I get there, I'll let ya know!

Long answer: The concept of home is very intangible for me. While West MI was my home for 23 years and is certainly still an important place to me and where my family lives, right now it is not home to me. It is too cold. People are too rushed and always checking the time. Everything is eerily in place and a bit too reliable. For the past 4 years, any time spent in West MI has had me feeling more like a vagabond more than anything else. And while I have enjoyed and been blessed by the hospitality of others there, I haven't had my 'home' there for quite some time.

While Ecuador has been where I lived for only 4 years, it has been a formative time for me and shaped how I want to live life. Sitting by the river is considered a well-spent afternoon. Dropping in on neighbors and friends is typical. Worship never goes as smoothly as I hoped, but it is beautiful. That being said, I am still the odd man out in most circles and my fluency in Spanish does not eliminate all linguistic blunders.

Home is not something I can really grasp right now.

But, Katie, you are so happy to be back, right?

Yes, absolutely! And once God sews my heart back together from the many parts I left behind in Ecuador, I'm sure I'll even feel it too!

To say yes to one thing is to say no to a million other things. While I rest in the confidence that I am where the Lord is asking me to be, I am still grieving the loss of many friends and a community that I love deeply.

Happiness is one of the many emotions I will be bouncing between in this transition, but so is lament and confusion. I appreciate your grace and patience with me in advance as I go through this.

Please avoid: Are you ready to settle down now? What's next?

Short Answer: Only the Lord knows.

Long Answer: My time in Ecuador has been the most 'settled' I've felt in my life. I finally spent more than one year in the same house for the first time since high school. I have my daily and weekly routines, for both work and play. I know what is expected of me and I am able to do those things relatively consistently. I feel very 'settled' here.

Following the Lord's lead to West MI has already been an earthshaking and emotional journey, and I haven't even gotten on the plane yet.

'Settle down' in the U.S.

Sounds so appealing yet appalling at the same time.

I don't know where God is going to lead me next.

I don't know what job He will ask me to take.

I don't know what anything will look like, really.

But what I do know is that He is leading me back to West MI with the same intentionality that He led me to Ecuador 4 years ago. The faith required of me now to follow His lead is the same as, if not more than, what was required of me then.

My prayer is that I never stop seeking His will and that the lure of 'comfortable' would never entice me away from approaching Him daily with open hands.

Please Avoid: What was the hardest part of your time in Ecuador?

Sarcastic Response: And while you're at it, could you please tell us about your deepest, spiritual insecurities and most vulnerable moments while betraying the trust of those who shared their own darkest moments with you?

Long Answer: Something I've noticed is that some people feel that, since my experience is so foreign to them and their own life context, my time in Ecuador is like a zoo exhibit, fully on display.

Most of the time, I can understand that. I don't mind answering questions about the culture or the 'strange' experiences I've had living in a foreign place. Even when it comes to personal struggles and experiences, generally speaking, I'm a pretty open book and enjoy sharing what the Lord has done and is doing in me because I feel it allows for more edifying conversation and genuine community.

But, just like in your life I'm sure, there are things that wouldn't be befitting to share in all circumstances or with all people.

I would like to be able to share those parts of my story as the Lord allows me to process them and as they come up. Thank you for allowing the Lord to do His work in me, at His pace.

But Katie, what questions should we ask you??

I am so glad you asked!

Yes, please: When are you free for coffee?

As I relocate to a place I once called home, I am looking for community. I would love the opportunity to meet with people who would enjoy a time of mutual sharing of stories. You have also had many things happen to you as I've been away and I would love to hear about those!

P.S. I actually really don't like coffee, so please feel free to insert any beverage, food, or activity of your choice in this one!

Yes, please: Can you show me some of your favorite pictures?

If you're looking for a more tangible glimpse into my life in Ecuador, photos will definitely help. A picture is worth a thousand words and there are some that I could probably hit a that word count going on about, so do so at your own risk!

TLDR: Let's get together :)

Thank you in advance for your patience with me and for your prayers. I would especially appreciate your prayers for me as I enter into my last week in Ecuador.

Bendiciones!

-Katie