Contentment in Hovering

Katie Hunter
Aug 9
4 min read

It has been just over a month since I came back to the US. In some ways it feels like just yesterday, and in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago.

Especially in my last weeks there, I felt so loved by my community in Ecuador, but the emotional weight was a lot to carry. I love my students, coworkers, church, and school deeply, and I struggled to balance authenticity and vulnerability of endless goodbyes with continuing to function. I was so grateful for the mural project given to me as a way to spend my time and pour out my love (photos at the end!).

My last night in Misahualli I spent celebrating quinceñeras for two of the beautiful girls at the Student Resident Home. We danced bachata and Cotton-Eyed Joe, ate delicious food, and celebrated the work of the Lord in their lives.

The next day, I got into a taxi.

I rode with a friend to Quito and spent a day with her before getting on a plane.

To go from weeks of heartfelt goodbyes and tearful glances to joyful hugs and smiling faces was incredibly refreshing.

My first weeks back were more or less how I would normally spend time in the States- meeting up with friends, sleeping in, and enjoying time with family. Because this all fit so easily within my scope of 'normal,' I didn't struggle as much with the reality of this life-change.

I then had the opportunity to go on a short-term mission trip with my church to Port Alsworth, Alaska, working as a counselor for Tanalian Bible Camp. This ministry has been building relationships with the local Alaskan villages for over 40 years, and it was a privilege to work alongside them, furthering their mission to empower hope-filled Alaskans to build up strong and healthy families and communities.

Camp counseling is never without its challenges, especially for an independent introvert like myself, but I was blessed by the Lord's graciousness and faithfulness through both His Spirit and His people. He is still at work in me and it was encouraging to see His hand at work in a beautiful new land.

Afterwards, we (the church team and I) spent a couple days in Anchorage, taking in the beauty of Alaska. Amazing hikes led us to see an iceberg and even a moose with its baby!

Then began the talk of going home.

'Home'

And now I sit writing this in my parent's house, feeling a bit lost.

Unsettled.

Soon I will be starting a full-time job with Alpha Grand Rapids working with their educational services.

Soon I will be moving into a new house graciously rented to me through my church by a kind missionary family who works in Colombia during the school year.

Soon I will figure out what grocery shopping looks like here, stop panicking when I have to look at the obscene number of choices on the shelf, and find a diet of foods that doesn't irritate my stomach.

Soon I will be able to burn my suitcases because I am so sick of packing. (Ok, maybe not burn, but at least put them away and out-of-sight!)

Soon I will stop using the present tense to describe what I do... what I did... in Ecuador.

Soon.

Anticipating.

Hovering.

Waiting to land.

When you allow yourself to be identified by what you do for so long, it is painful to have that stripped away.

It is an uncomfortable place to be, to be without familiarity or routine. To look yourself in the eye and wonder who you are when you're 'in-between,' no longer who you were and not quite who you will be.

It is also a vulnerable place to be; to feel without an identity leaves one susceptible to being influenced by anything that sounds appealing at the time. It leaves me more likely to grasp at anything that might provide identity or security.

It is also an edifying place to be, to be open to the Lord's continued work in me as I find Him again to be the Firm Foundation to fall on.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 5:6-11)

Restored.

Strong.

Firm.

Steadfast.

Those sound like sweet promises to put my hope in.

May we never tire of coming back to our Father in our weakness and pride, to be lifted up in due time.

May this hope empower us to continue resisting he who would seek to devour us.

Praise God for this security, which moths and vermin cannot destroy, and thieves cannot break in and steal.

Thank you for your prayers and your continued desire to walk alongside me. This blog has been a good place for me to sit with the Lord and consider His work in my life, so it is something I plan to continue doing for the foreseeable future. I pray it is an encouragement to you.

I ask for your prayers in this season of transition and hovering.

for overflowing grace and patience- that I may have it for both myself and others, and that others may have it for me
for intentionality and diligence- that I may continue following the Lord in the direction and at the pace He leads.
for gratitude- that my heart may be filled with gratefulness for all the ways the Lord has blessed me in my time in Ecuador, in this transition, and in the future.

Thank you, dear friend. And, as always, I would love to pray with you. Please reach out if you have anything I could walk alongside you in prayer with.

Bendiciones! Katie