Changing of the Seasons

The trees have changed color and lost their leaves, the temperatures keep falling lower and lower, and the days are getting shorter than I care for.

And, I have to say, it's very weird.

Before this fall, I hadn't experienced a 'season change' or even checked the weather before picking out clothes in the morning in 4 years. Each day looked pretty much like the day before, with rain being the only variable. The sun rose at 6am and set at 6pm. The trees stayed green year-round.

Now I find myself needing to check the weather to figure out if I really need 15 layers of clothing, or if only 4 will suffice :)

Similarly, in other areas of my life, I see how my way of life is in need of adapting because of a more metaphorical changing of seasons.

I am a big fan of routine. I like to feel competent in what I do and at least slightly prepared for what's ahead of me.

One of the best parts of being a teacher has been the structure of a school day. While each day looked different, I had a good idea of what would be expected of me. I knew the kids I would see and had at least a plan for what to do with them each day. Working in Ecuador for four years definitely pushed me to become more flexible as interruptions (both expected and unexpected) were the norm, but at the end of the day, I knew what was expected of me and I was determined to meet those expectations.

I did this consistently, albeit imperfectly, for four years. I was a teacher, missionary, worship leader, roommate, and friend. These roles evolved over my time there, but not often in dramatic shifts that would cause me to doubt my ability to meet my own expectations.

I was green all year-round, metaphorically speaking.

But, something you may not know about the jungle environment, is that while things grow easily, they often grow too quickly to sustain themselves. Trees in the jungle grow tall and skinny to reach sunlight quickly, but are often not strong enough to withstand a strong wind or even its own weight. Avocados from the jungle are bigger than those from the mountains, but also more watery and less flavorful.

To stay in one season and avoid change does not promote healthy growth.

Don't misunderstand me, I grew so much from my time in Ecuador, and I am so grateful for the lessons He taught me and the way He walked with me. But, I found a way of living that worked for me, keeping up with my classes and community fairly well. I was not without difficulties and struggles, but I had gotten the hang of it, more or less.

But that began to change.

In June, I stopped teaching.

In July, I moved back to the U.S.

In August, I started a new job.

In September, I moved to a new house.

And in October, I got engaged (to a wonderful man of God who has a huge heart for spreading His Word to the nations and who has pursued me diligently over a year of long-distance dating. If you're curious, I would love to tell you more over coffee!).

In November, I started planning a wedding and a marriage.

This December, I am walking alongside my work as we undergo a major operations transition to allow for a renovation to our women's center as well as entering into my first full-fledged U.S. holiday season in 4 years.

That's not to say it has all been difficult, as many of these things have been huge blessings in my life! I am so grateful for my job, the house my church is renting to me, and my amazing fiancé.

But my world hasn't stopped spinning for the better part of a year now.

It's been a lot.

Transition.

Insecurity.

I've found that to be in times of transition and insecurity, allows me to more clearly see the pride in my heart and hear His loving invitation to surrender it to Him.

In my brokenness I look around for something tangible to cling to, seeing my own abilities and busyness as something to grasp onto. Yet, in His graciousness, I also see myself falling short again and again.

During this time of Advent, I have been reading through Isaiah, and stumbled across a passage I've probably written about before:

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

'In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength,

but you would have none of it.

You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’

Therefore you will flee!

You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’

Therefore your pursuers will be swift!

A thousand will flee

at the threat of one;

at the threat of five

you will all flee away,

till you are left

like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,

like a banner on a hill.”

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;

therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice.

Blessed are all who wait for Him!

People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:15-21)

Repentance and rest.

Quietness and trust.

Not to move forward in competence, but to walk trusting in and listening for His guiding voice.

As I walk down unfamiliar paths, I am getting a fresh look into how deeply rooted my trust is in Him versus how comfortable I got with the way of life I was used to. I don't think routine is a bad thing, but it certainly allows me to more easily go into 'auto-pilot' and operate out of my own strength.

But, joy of all joys, He does not roll His eyes as I come to Him, again, after trying to manage things on my own. He graciously waits on the edge of His seat, listening intently for the first sign of my cry for help. Again.

Praise the Lord we depend on a God who is faithful, patient, and full of love.

"But now, this is what the Lord says—

He who created you, Jacob,

He who formed you, Israel:

'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in My sight,

and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

nations in exchange for your life.'" (Isaiah 43:1-4)

Hallelujah.

I am struggling to really believe that Christmas is happening next week, especially since it seems like stores here have been ready for Christmas since mid-October. Isaiah has been an encouragement to me as I strive to fight the consumerism pushed by this culture and the cynicism propogated by my own heart.

I pray we carry the sense of His profound love for us into Christmas this year, that we might rest in its warmth, repent as we fall short of it, and be filled to the measure of it, that we can't help but spill it on those around us.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

Merry Christmas.

It has truly been my intent to continue writing periodically in this blog, I apologize for delays as I figure out new routines. It means the world to me that you would continue to invest your time and energy into reading what I have to say. Thank you.

I ask for your prayers in this new season for me, specifically over:

• engagement: for the grace of God to be over all our marriage preparation and wedding planning- that I would not get lost in the things that do not last, but keep my eyes fixed on His face.

• Christmas: for my own heart as I struggle with many conflicting emotions from this time, I am excited to have plenty of time to spend with family and friends here (not to mention, Amazon delivery!), but I am missing my friends, the simplicity of the season, and the warmth of Ecuador.

• Alpha Grand Rapids: for grace and wisdom in our transition to a new temporary location (36th Street) until our renovation is done at the end of 2026.

I would love to hear from you if there is anything I can join with you in prayer over. Please don't hesitate to reach out.

¡Feliz Navidad!

-Katie