Hosanna- Blessed is He. Save us.

These last few weeks have been difficult for me.

There has been no particular trial I feel I am facing causing me to despair, no extra load I have been made to bear. Something I'm beginning to notice is that every once and a while I am struck by the brokenness of the world around me and the brokenness of my own heart as I seek to live in it. The reality of my weakness hits me, and I feel, what I can best describe as, heavy.

Weighed down.

I have also learned that these times are, as I would call them, spiritual attacks.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Ephesians 6:12

As a believer in Jesus Christ, I know my salvation is protected, untouchable, and cannot be taken from me, however I am not free from attack. There is a very real "enemy that prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8) and he is vicious.

Some attacks are blatant, a clear charge from the enemy against me. They are sharp, front attacks. They hurt a lot and drive me to my knees. It is obvious to me that I have no control, so I appeal to the One who does. He diligently responds.

Unfortunately, the attacks that I find most difficult are more subtle. It is as if a fog enters my mind to discourage and distract me.

The danger lies in the fact that I do not always accredit these times to their true source- I will blame stress at work, lack of sleep, etc. Those can certainly be contributing factors, but not recognizing the true enemy behind these attacks means that I don't bring the proper armor to the battle.

When I blame overwork, I take intentional time away from work (which is a good thing!) and am disappointed to find the mountain of work I left behind has not shrunk.

When I blame lack of sleep, I sleep a bit more (another good thing!) and am discouraged when nothing has changed when I wake up.

When I blame stress, I go to a local spa (one of my favorite things!) and am disillusioned when my body still carries the burden of it all.

No matter what I do, I am unable find my way out of the fog.

I am unable to save myself.

Hopeless.

But.

What if I am putting my hope in something that, while good in itself, is inherently unable to fulfill the hopeful expectation I put on it?

Work/life boundaries are great, but they don't bring life.

Sleep is wonderful, but it doesn't bring life,

Spas are relaxing, but they don't bring life.

Where do I find life?

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." -1 Peter 1:3-9

Hope.

Often inexpressible, but something we feel deep within our bones.

The Holy Spirit works in us to remind us of our Living Hope, found not in ourselves nor the work we do, but in the work that has been done.

I am working to identify these times of subtle spiritual attack more quickly now, so that I can work intentionally to combat the enemy's advances in my mind. It is not easy work, but Living Hope always prevails.

I am not unarmed.

For me, it has been ironic to be wrestling with hope so much in this season of preparing for Resurrection Sunday, the commemoration of the epitome of our Living Hope.

Being a language nerd and today being Palm Sunday, I have to share something I learned about the word 'hosanna.' (Perhaps you already know this and I am the one behind, bear with me!)

I had always assumed that 'hosanna' meant something along the lines of 'Hallelujah'- a celebration of sorts, giving honor and glory. While that understanding is common and accurate now, that is not the original Hebrew meaning of the word.

In Hebrew, 'Hosanna' was a cry for deliverance to the Lord.

"Oh, save your people and bless your heritage! Be their shepherd and carry them forever." Psalm 28:9

"That your beloved ones may be delivered, give salvation by your right hand and answer us!" Psalm 60:5

A plea for help in the most desperate of times.

A celebration and honoring of the coming Savior.

How beautiful that one word contains these two ideas.

We can call out in our distress and despair to our Living Hope, both crying for reprieve from our very real pain and celebrating in anticipation the work He will do to deliver us.

As you enter into this Holy Week, I remind myself that our Living Hope did not deliver the Jewish people from their Roman occupation, rather He died on a cross to deliver them from their own sins and to give victory in their battle against the real enemy.

His deliverance is so much more than we can fathom and often looks different than we think it should.

"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly." -1 Peter 2:21-23

"Therefore, let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good." -1 Peter 4:19

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." -1 Peter 5:10-11

Our Living Hope never waivers, never changes.

He is victorious.

He is faithful.

He is good.

Amen.

I thank you for continuing to walk with me through life and learning with me! It is such an encouragement to me to know I have a community of people invested in my journey and committed to praying for me!

As you pray, I ask you to pray...

• for endurance and continued dependence on the Lord for strength to finish out this school year well. No Spring Break makes for a long stretch between Christmas and the end of the year.

• for openness and a learning spirit as I plan to attend a 4-week missionary training in June! I will be leaving my classroom a month early (in the hands of a wonderful intern!) to pursue more training in cross-cultural ministry.

• for diligence and the grace to continue doing what the Lord places in front of me, to love and serve the people I am around.

• thanksgiving for my visa! A very long process but I now have another 2-year visa.

• thanksgiving for His graciousness in giving me 2 family visits in the past 3 months! I got a week with my dad over New Year's and a week with my brother, sister-in-law, and sister this month. It was a blessing to spend time with them and show them my life here!

Thank you all again. I would love to join you in prayer as well! Please reach out to me (email, text, blog contact, smoke signals) so I can be doing that for you as well.

¡Bendiciones!

-Katie