Equipped for Every Good Work

I have always been terrible at sports.

Oh, I could tell you stories about poor middle school Katie just wanting to make the team or being utterly inept in gym class.

But I could also tell you stories about how finally giving up my dreams of one day being an Olympic athlete (or even making the B-Team for volleyball) led me deeper into God's will for me- the arts. Music, art, and theatre were things that I found myself at home in, finding like-minded people and developing skills that God had gifted me.

While I love those things and would spend hours doing all of them on a weekly basis in high school, I never considered pursuing any of these as a career. God had put teaching on my heart, so that was what I decided to study. Since highschool, I have been left with significantly less time for these hobbies, but I still enjoy them when I can.

What I did not expect was how God would use those passions He had developed in me then to be a part of my ministry now.

When I moved to Ecuador, my church was regularly using lyric videos from Youtube to worship or the pastor with a tambourine- nothing wrong with either, of course, but our pastor preferred something different.

While talking with him, I let it slip that I could kinda, sorta play the guitar (I had picked up the guitar a bit in college and during the pandemic.) and maybe wasn't terrible at singing. Adequate, one might say.

That, apparently, was all my pastor needed to hear: I became a worship leader.

This was not something I expected, nor something I was completely comfortable with.

First of all, it started off as a solo act. Singing is very vulnerable for me, and I really don't like to be the only one with a microphone.

Second of all, the majority of the worship-leading opportunities were not in English. I may have already been familiar with some of the songs and theoretically knew Spanish, but that didn't stop me from tripping over my own tongue trying to get the right syllables out. And then they asked me to do a couple songs in Kichwa, the indigenous language... Adequate would be an extremely generous term for my Kichwa...

Third of all, the coordination of playing guitar and singing as well as leading worship in general were new things for me.

Fourth of all, AHHHHHH!

Regardless, I stepped in to fill a need about 3 years ago, and now I often find myself leading worship 4 or 5 times a week, in both Spanish and English (and every once in a while, in Kichwa), both by myself and with a team.

It has been a humbling and growing experience for me.

It has allowed me to get more integrated into my church here, as I am now recognized as the hermana (sister) who plays the guitar and actually can speak Spanish despite her blue eyes and deceivingly pale appearance.

It has given me a space to meet regularly with other sisters in Christ to rehearse songs, pray together, and encourage one another.

It has forced me to confront yet another facet of my pride when my voice isn't in peak condition or the 8-year-old drummer just isn't keeping the beat.

It has also led me to develop a personal theology of worship that has been so rich for me.

Just as there are with you, I am sure, there are days when I just don't feel up for it. Perhaps I'm tired. Perhaps I don't 'feel the Spirit.' Perhaps I'm harboring bitterness toward God. Perhaps I just don't want to.

Despite the reasoning, God has graciously given me many worship opportunities throughout my week that don't allow me to ignore those feelings. With that, I have the chance to submit to Him in worship, even if I'm still not 'feeling it.' Often this looks like singing, but not always.

Becoming a 'worship leader' has helped me to challenge my perspective of what worship is. Often, worship what we call the part of a Sunday morning service in which everyone sings together corporately in his/her native language and ends as soon as the last chord is played.

But it is so much more than that, and if we limit 'worship' to the time described, we rob our Lord of the worship He is due.

Sometimes it means simply playing the guitar or listening to hymns alone and reflecting on the lyrics.

Sometimes it means sitting with the Psalms, attempting to present my heart and plea before Him plainly.

Sometimes it means walking to the river, allowing Him to quiet my mind.

Sometimes it means belting out hymns in an empty church while the rain thunders on the tin roof.

Sometimes it means making pizzas with a t 6- and 7-year-old on a Friday night for a household of girls.

At the end of the day, there is no circumstance in which I would look back and wish I hadn't worshiped Him more. Ultimately, it will never be enough. So, I seek to praise Him always, with my voice and with my life, albeit quite imperfectly.

I am grateful that my ability to worship is not dependent on my feelings in the moment.

I am grateful He is faithful and consistent when I am anything but.

I am grateful for worship with sisters in Christ that pray with me and have become like family. A family united in adoration to our Beloved Father.

I am grateful for the moments when I stop singing and can hear all the voices of my brothers and sisters lifting up their praises to the King in whatever language it happens to be. A taste of heaven, when all His children cry out.

"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and then thousand times ten thousand. They encircle the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:

'Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!'

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them saying:

'To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!'

The four living creatures said, 'Amen,' and the elders fell down and worshiped." (Revelation 5: 11-14)

May we praise Him with all that is in us, holding nothing back.

May our worship be an incense, pleasing to our Lord and Savior.

May we never cease giving Him glory and thanks for His beautiful character.

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me! I am so grateful for your support and prayers.

This past week, we started the final parcial of our school year, and it is very surreal for me. I have turned in my last unit plans, and am looking at my final stretch in Ecuador. With that in mind, I ask for your prayers:

• Over preparation for my final 2.5 months in Ecuador- work for the teacher coming after me, logistics of ending well and a million goodbyes, and my heart for this incredibly intimidating transition looming overhead.

• Over my wonderful students- for their hearts to be softened to receive the gospel anew through the end-of-the-year C.S. Lewis unit we do.

• Over my organization as they are looking at yet another transition of leadership as our founder and director is stepping down after 17 years of service.

• Of praise over the extremely qualified teacher we have found to take my classes!

• Of praise over the gentleness with which I feel the Lord has been leading me.

• Of praise over the physical healing God has given my body.

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that openly profess His name. And do not forget to do good and share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." (Hebrews 13:15-16)

Bendiciones!

-Katie

P.S. If you are interested in an album of songs that has been leading my heart into worship, check out this song and the album it's a part of!

P.P.S If you're curious what our worship looks like on Sunday, here is a video!