Home

The concept of "home" is becoming more elusive as I continue to grow roots in a place so far from where I grew up.

Every once and a while, I get the chance to go "home" to my parents' house where I see many people I love and finally get the chance to blend in and look like the people around me. However, it doesn't fit like it did before. I don't fit.

After that time off, I return "home" to my own house where I see many people I love and finally get the chance to eat a proper meal that includes a generous portion of rice. However, it is still painfully apparent that I am an outsider in a culture that I don't fully understand. I don't fit.

It is uncomfortable to always feel an inward "otherness," especially when you are surrounded by people that you love dearly in places that once felt like home or in places that you wish to be your home.

Sometimes, it leaves me wondering if I will ever find a home.

This can lead to loneliness.

Self-isolation.

Self-pity.

Yet, amidst the discomfort, I find that I am not alone.

In Peter's letters, he consistently refers to his fellow believers as sojourners, exiles, and strangers. Temporary workers in a foreign land.

Paul's letter to the Hebrews, he commends the ancients for their faith for their acknowledgment of their lack of a home on this earth.

These (the ancients) all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared for them a city. -Hebrews 11:13-16

So perhaps this longing for a home is not something that is unique to a cross-cultural worker's experience, but rather something that all children of God feel. The desire to be with our Father in His house, where a place has been made specifically for each one of us while leaving behind the brokenness that was never intended for us. The desire to live as we were made to live while recognizing that we are called to live here and now.

"My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God." (Psalm 84:2)

This may be exacerbated by the life I have chosen to live, but it is by no means something I am alone in feeling.

This deeply-rooted yearning may seem discouraging, as we can never be fully satisfied here on earth. However, it gives me hope that this is all temporary, merely the blink of an eye, in light of eternity. It reminds me that I am in a broken world now, but that wholeness is coming.

It also encourages me to seek out "home" wherever my feet are planted.

• To always pursue a relationship with my Heavenly Father.

• To invest in those around me.

• To do the work set before me.

In doing this in my own human and imperfect way, I have found myself blessed with home in ways that I couldn't have asked or imagined.

I am amazed to recognize the way the Lord provides, not just for my needs, but also to my very human desire for home and family. I am so grateful He has seen fit to demonstrate His love for me through His creation.

I have long since known and advocated for the idea that home and family is not just blood. I now see that it is neither blood nor proximity nor common culture. My home consists of a hodge-podge mixture of people who have decided to care about me and make room for me and for whom I have decided to care and make room.

"God sets the lonely in families" -Psalm 68:6a

We are made in the image of a triune God, so we are hard-wired for relationships with others in which we serve and are served. We are called to be part of the body of Christ. We are called to seek out brothers and sisters to have community.

This does not mean I don't ever feel alone, it means that I can recognize those feelings of loneliness and put them at the feet of my Savior. Instead of giving into the temptation to self-isolate, I can go to my Father to sit in His lap and tell Him when the heartache grows too great for me to bear. He can remind me of Truth. I can go to Him in gratitude as I go seek out the people He has placed in my life. He smiles to see His creation working as He designed it to.

"Sing to God, sing in praise of His name,

extol Him who rides on the clouds;

rejoice before Him—His name is the Lord.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

is God in His holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,

He leads out the prisoners with singing;

but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." (Psalm 68:4-6)

I know it's been a while, so I appreciate you picking back up with me! Over the past few months, we had a our first graduating class, a trip home, and are now 3 weeks into our school year. It has all flown by!

As we get farther into this school year, I (again) ask for your prayer:

• For our school, as we continue to give our all in order to give our precious students a gospel-inspired education.

• For our ministry, as we continue in our season of transition in leadership.

• For my visa, as I am experiencing some unexpected speed-bumps in renewing my 2 year visa that expires this fall.

• For my heart, as I attempt to grow in contentedness with the home the Lord provides for me.

Thank you all for your graciousness and kindness.

¡Bendiciones!

-Katie